Girl_Dm_ Mayo – Vite Ramen

Our noodles are in extremely high demand right now. We're grateful for the love and support, but supply chains are still sadly being difficult. Reserving your MTO orders as soon as possible will help us stay ahead of the curve and ensure we continue to have the supplies we need to make your products! CLICK THIS BANNER TO LEARN MORE ABOUT MTO/LQ

Proceed at your own caution.

There could be mines.


Sign Up with email and/or SMS for 100% of your daily value of mayo. Free of faces... for now. 

Cloth items come pre-mayo soaked.


Check out the real Yuzu Shoyu Partner Flavor after you're done here!

Proceed at your own caution.

There could be mines.


Sign Up with email and/or SMS for 100% of your daily value of mayo. Free of faces... for now. 

Cloth items come pre-mayo soaked.


Use code GIRLDM10 at checkout to save an additional 10%!

Watch Girl_DM_ taste the things we told her not to and
our CEO Tim tweeted out himself trying it with her >

[LQ] Vite Ramen Hot and Spicy Mayo Girl_Dm_ Edition 9-Pack

$49.91
Quantity

    Will leave you asking "Why? Why did they make this? Why am I eating it?"

    "And why is there a single slice of cheese in the packet?"

Allergens Include:
Wheat, Horrible Decisions, Pain-Neko
*Disclaimer: Not a real product. Novelty Use only and not intended for human consumption.

Go sign up onthe email list and SMS list for the real collab coming soon though!



[LQ] Hot and Spicy Mayo Nanoboost Vitality Cans 12-Pack

$27.77

    Extra-carbonated Nanoboost Mayo Vitality! Carefully designed to taste just like mayo! You decide if that's a good or bad thing!

    Contains 20% DV of all essential micronutrients and 5g soluble fiber! Why? Dunno honestly!

    EXTRA VITALITY. EXCESSIVE POTENCY. EXTREME ENERGY. YOU'RE POWERED UP. GET IN THERE.

V1.2 no longer causes user to teleport to unintended locations. You’re welcome.


Allergens Include:
Mayo, Egg, Broken Hopes and Dreams
*Disclaimer: Not a real product. Novelty Use only and not intended for human consumption.

Go sign up onthe email list and SMS list for the real collab coming soon though!



[LQ] Hot and Spicy Mayo Nanoboost Vitality Powder

$27.77

Nanoboost Vitality Mayo, but powdered! Just don't ask how we did it! Please don't, I don't want to remember, haha!


Allergens Include:

ì̵̲̣̟̼̥̦̲̺̇̓͒̂̈͜͜t̵̰͙͕͖̦̠͎̜͉͙̭͍͌̿̐̿͗͝ͅ'̶̨̫̟͈͛̆̀̎̎̃̀̑̓̇͐͘s̸̡͚̮̗̖̙͓̹̹͔͚̻̺͇̥͌̓̆̈̉ ̴̟̋̈́͋͝i̵̡̧͓̜̻̥̋̈́͊̄̎͋̂̿̂̌͝͝͝n̷̨͎̠̚ ̴̘̰̼̳̿͐̀̿͆̒̋͒̑̀̈̐̚͝͝m̴̨͎̌͂͒̃̌̇̾̅͗ỷ̷̡̡̛͖̦̙̜͔͎̥̋̌́̃̑͌̂̚ ̵̧̛̗̙͙̼̞̦͔̤͉̩̹̬̖̍͐͒̓͂̾̀̆̚͝ͅd̶̩̯̜̬̃̊̐̈́̊̄̆r̴̯͋̓͒́̑̌͛͗͐͊̂͋̚e̷̢̹̫͒̑̾͐a̶̝̩͉̥̰̠̘̙͙̻͓̮̼̦̍̄͊̊̾͜m̶̞͕̪̮̞͖̙̻̫͈̠͑͊̀̎̆͋̾̾̈́̀̒͘͜s̷̩̦̦͕̥͑̊̑̿͒̚͜ͅ.̵̛̬̘̫̗̰̬̫͎̱͈͍̫̺̀̾̌.̶̫̩̙͍̯̆̾̍̋̆͐͆̚͜͜ͅͅ.̷̣̖̦͕̲͌̓̋̅̌͋́̆̎̅̚̕͝͝
*Disclaimer: Not a real product. Novelty Use only and not intended for human consumption.

Go sign up onthe email list and SMS list for the real collab coming soon though!



[LQ] Hot and Spicy Mayo Nanoboost Vitality Cans 12-Pack

$27.77

    HEY GUYS DID YOU KNOW IT'S PROABLBLY N!OT THE BAEST IDEA TO AMIX THEM TOBEVER BOTH LIKE I CAN T4STE SOUDNS SDPEEDY SUP SEE FAS5TER OF LIGHT ONLY DARKNESS

      This pack includes:

    • ??%*$??x Hot and Spicy Mayo Nanoboost Vitality Powder
    • WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Allergens Include:
ZOOMIES :D :D :D
*Disclaimer: Not a real product. Novelty Use only and not intended for human consumption.

Go sign up onthe email list and SMS list for the real collab coming soon though!



[LQ] Vite Ramen Hot and Spicy Mayo Pillow

$24.20

    WAIT! This isn't the ramen, this is just a cozy pillow! Comes pre-soaked with mayo. It's stuffing in there, not noodles. We promise. Don't eat it.

    ...

    I SAID DON'T EAT IT.

Seriously, why did eating a pillow even cross your mind?

Allergens Include:
Regret, Excessive Fluff, Itchy Nose
*Disclaimer: Not a real product. Novelty Use only and not intended for human consumption.

Go sign up onthe email list and SMS list for the real collab coming soon though!



[LQ] Vite Ramen Hot and Spicy Mayo
T-shirt

$26.95

    Wouldn't it be cool if you had a t-shirt that was super soft and made out of fur that was shed from a cat while they were receiving 80,000 headpats?

Well, this isn't that.

...

Yet.

Allergens Include:
Cat Hair, Ahoge Hair
*Disclaimer: Not a real product. Novelty Use only and not intended for human consumption.

Go sign up onthe email list and SMS list for the real collab coming soon though!



What's in the pack?

Each Mayo Ramen pack comes with:

- A block of our signature Vite Ramen noodles. No deep frying and no palm oil ever.

-More red flags than minesweeper

-Our all NEW Dehydrated Mayo v3.0... soup? Paste? Powder?

- Only Hot and Spicy Mayo Vite Ramen Includes a Single Cheese Slice.

Get what you

pay for.


We believe that when you race to the bottom dollar, everyone loses.

We price our ramen honestly - so we can sustain a business model that pays living wages, respects our employees, and uses only high quality ingredients we feel comfortable eating every day ourselves.

We believe in people over profits.

Get what you pay for.

We believe that when you race to the bottom dollar, everyone loses.

We price our ramen honestly - so we can sustain a business model that pays living wages, respects our employees, and uses only high quality ingredients we feel comfortable eating every day ourselves.

We believe in people over profits.

Get what you

pay for.


We believe that when you race to the bottom dollar, everyone loses.

We price our ramen honestly - so we can sustain a business model that pays living wages, respects our employees, and uses only high quality ingredients we feel comfortable eating every day ourselves.

We believe in people over profits.

Get what you pay for.

We believe that when you race to the bottom dollar, everyone loses.

We price our ramen honestly - so we can sustain a business model that pays living wages, respects our employees, and uses only high quality ingredients we feel comfortable eating every day ourselves.

We believe in people over profits.

Small business.

Big dreams. Made by us.


Each individual noodle brick is made in the facility we built ourselves. Made right in the USA by our own hands, and with respect for our employees.

Small business.

Big dreams.

Made by us.

Each individual noodle brick is made in the facility we built ourselves. Made right in the USA by our own hands, and with respect for our employees.

Technology improves.

Why not food?

We constantly make improvements based on your feedback.

Our Patch Notes system means transparency in every change we make!

We're currently on Patch v3.0!

Don't forget to use code GIRLDM10 at checkout to save an additional 10% and to support her as well!

How is Vite Ramen priced?

We're totally aware that our ramen is higher priced than normal, but for good reason. It's well known in the food world that the cheaper your product is, the better your sales will be. Unfortunately, fighting for the bottom dollar often means that the employees who make the food pay the cost: minimum wage, poor working hours and no consideration for mental health or overall/general employee well-being.

Being from a culinary background, we’re intimately familiar with the kind of exploitation that workers can be subject to, and the kind of poverty people can experience even while working twelve hour days. The first step to combating this kind of exploitation is to set up business models that incorporate the negative externalities directly into the price, rather than perpetuate the unsustainable business models that currently exist.

We're putting our money where our mouth is and paying all of our employees a living wage no matter what position they work, giving healthy amounts of PTO and with no questions asked days off for mental health. It's extremely important to us that our employees are treated fairly and that our ramen isn't made at the expense of the people who make it.

Would we be able to make the product cheaper through outsourcing and sell more by decreasing the cost? Yeah, absolutely! But we're not about that. We're not in this to make the biggest profit (in fact, our profit margins are so low we can't afford to sell in supermarkets, which should give you an idea). Factor in the material costs for all the things like quinoa and protein for a healthier ramen and being made in the USA and that's how we set our costs.

In the end, we just want to make the best ramen possible, have an excuse to eat ramen every day, and be proud of what we're doing and the employees who make it happen. And when it comes down to it, each of our meals is still less than the cost of a fast food meal! :)

How are shipping costs calculated?

The reality of shipping is that shipping companies give us a cost, and that’s what shows up on our website; we don’t make a single dollar off of it. We unfortunately have no control over it, and being a small business, we have no negotiating power in asking them to lower it.

Also, our ramen is just way, way bigger than the small packets you might see on the supermarket shelves. It’s designed as a complete meal, so it’s larger and heftier than many people might first think!

We’re constantly looking for better solutions, and do our best to help make shipping easier however we can: we offer free rewards for returning customers, and due to how dimensional weight works, the cost of shipping more packets is only a couple dollars more than a basic 9 pack! If you're a fan of our ramen, ordering more at once is the most cost effective shipping rate!

International orders please note that the price shown covers ALL country entry fees, including duties, shipping, customs, and other fees. We do not set these fees and do not receive any of them, as a third party handles all of this for us, and customs and duty fees are set by the respective governments. We understand these prices are steep, but as of now, this is our only way as a small business to legally ship our product through international borders.

Why do you add MSG?

MSG is an unfairly demonized ingredient! There's some very interesting history to why it became looked down on, and it's not because of scientific evidence! Check out our blog post about the subject to see why we deliberately included MSG.

Is Vite Ramen vegan/halal/gluten free/low carb?

Our Naked Noods, Nanoboost, Vegan White Miso, and Vegan Sichuan Chili Edition are 100% vegan and, to the best of our understanding, halal, while the Chicken, Pork, and Beef are not. However, it should also be noted that they are not certified halal/kosher. Our noodles are also not gluten free or low carb, though it is often requested that we attempt to make gluten free or low carb noodles, we do not have the manufacturing capabilities need to create this kind of product at this time.

Is Vite Ramen organic?

No, Vite Ramen is not organic.